Why Marcus Stroman Should Absolutely Not Be a Marlin (Even Though He Should Be)

You ever watch a movie where the main character is about to make a terrible life choice, and you just want to reach through the screen, grab them, and scream, “Nooooooo!” That’s exactly how I feel about the idea of Marcus Stroman coming to the Marlins.

Now, don’t get me wrong—on paper, this move should happen. It makes all the sense in the world. Stroman is a groundball machine (54.1% groundball rate in 2023), he’s been an All-Star, he thrives when he’s got something to prove, and—oh yeah—he actually wants to be here. That’s a unicorn for the Marlins. If you told me in 2019 that a guy of Stroman’s caliber would be sitting there, practically begging to play in Miami, I’d assume we’d finally turned the corner as a franchise.

But let’s be real—why on earth would Stroman actually want to sign up for this?

The Marlins just had a 62-100 season. They weren’t just bad—they were Marlinically bad. You know what I mean. The kind of bad where the team starts the season pretending it’s competitive, then flips half the roster by July and still ends up 40 games under .500. The kind of bad where your best players are constantly on the trade block, and just when you start getting attached to someone, they’re packing their bags for a team that actually wants to win.

Which brings us to the elephant in the room: Jazz Chisholm Jr. and Jesús Luzardo are gone.

Jazz was supposed to be the face of the franchise. He was the one guy that MLB actually wanted to market from Miami. He had the flair, the swag, the video game covers—everything. But what did the Marlins do? They dumped him for a package of “future pieces.” Same with Luzardo, who was supposed to be part of this elite young rotation. The Marlins don’t build, they flip. The moment a player is due for a payday, they’re already on a flight out of town.

And that brings us to Marcus Stroman.

Why would a 32-year-old veteran, fresh off a playoff run with the Cubs, fresh off getting a bag from the Yankees, choose to come into this circus? The Marlins aren’t close to competing. They’re in another rebuild—probably their 14th in franchise history, give or take. The roster is in transition, the rotation is thin, and the only thing they’ve proven is that they have no intention of actually keeping guys long-term.

This is the core issue with Miami baseball: there’s no plan. Are they rebuilding? Retooling? Tanking? Are they trying to be the Rays? The Guardians? The A’s before they became a traveling circus act? It’s impossible to tell. The Marlins always operate in this gray area of mediocrity, never bad enough to tank properly, never good enough to go all-in. Stroman signing here would be like buying a used car that already has smoke coming out of the engine—sure, it might run for a while, but sooner or later, you know it’s breaking down.

And let’s not forget the contract situation.

Stroman has two years and $37 million left on his deal. That’s nothing for most teams. The Yankees sneeze and $37 million falls out of their pocket. But for the Marlins? That’s “we need Bruce Sherman to check his Venmo balance” money. This team barely wanted to pay Luis Arraez. They let Sandy Alcántara sign one of the most team-friendly contracts in modern history, and they still weren’t willing to build around him. If you think they’re going to pay Stroman and keep him for two years, you haven’t been paying attention.

Here’s the most realistic scenario:

Let’s say Miami actually trades for Stroman. Best-case scenario, he’s great! He comes in, gives them a 3.20 ERA, eats innings, keeps them competitive. Fantastic. What happens next? By July, the Marlins are probably 10 games under .500, because—newsflash—they aren’t good enough to keep up with the Braves or Phillies. And then, because he has a player option for 2025, the front office gets nervous and flips him at the deadline for more “future pieces.”

So what’s the point?

Marcus Stroman is too good of a fit for the Marlins. That’s the problem. He makes sense for a team that actually has a vision, a team that knows what it’s building toward. But Miami? This team is in no-man’s land. And the last thing Stroman should do is waste his time here.

So yeah, should Marcus Stroman be a Marlin? Yes.
But should Marcus Stroman actually come to Miami? Hell no.